10 Commandments for Runners

Obi-wan has rules for the gym in his house. Among them are, “The gym must be clean and tidy after your workout.” Common sense, you’d think. Noooooooooo. I have been to many a gym where the employees are the worst offenders where leaving a mess is concerned.

HUGE pet peeve.

Nobody likes Pig-Pen.

Nobody likes Pig-Pen.

Anyway, I was thinking as marathon season is upon us that maybe some unwritten runner commandments need to be written. Here are mine.

  1. Thou shalt not put down other runners’ race times.
  2. Thou shalt keep holy the Rest Day.
  3. Thou shalt not take Bart Yasso’s name in vain, except during Yasso 800s.
  4. Thou shalt not spit, snot rocket, or otherwise dispel of bodily fluids in the direction of another runner.
  5. Thou shalt not wear cotton. Like, ever.
  6. Thou shalt not falsely attempt to start in a faster corral.
  7. Thou shalt not wear clothes that smell prior to a run.
  8. Thou shalt not offer free advice to other runners unless explicitly asked.
  9. Thou shalt reciprocate the greeting of a fellow runner.
  10. Thou shalt not brag about one’s performance among those who are less fortunate.

These are the 10 Commandments for Runners according to Abby. What would you add to the list?


Now go out and run!

Rules of the Road

To all the new runners out there in the world, welcome! Welcome to a unique community where “fartlek” isn’t a dirty word and the sweatier you are, the better.

The reality of running.
(Image courtesy of Adidas)

As much as we buck the norm where bathroom habits are concerned, we do have some manners that most seasoned runners adhere to. They are the following Rules of the Road:

#1. Spit directly downward towards your shoes. Not to the side. Not way out in front. Down beneath your own feet. That way if you have lousy aim, you aren’t punishing your neighbor.

Farmer blows are ok, just don't do it on your neighbor. (Image courtesy of Adidas)

#2. Wear clean clothes. Brush your teeth. Wear deodorant. No one wants to smell you while they’re gasping for air. Showering is optional, good hygiene and clean shorts are not.
#3. Pass on the outside. Cruise on the inside.
#4. Make way for the babies on board. The pregnant mamas and strolling-pushing parents have a lot more to maneuver than you do. Get out of their way.

Preggers lady gets the right of way every time.

#5. When you cross the finish line, keep walking. The runner behind you wants to get across it, too.
#6. Don’t pace off of another runner without their permission. It’s rude and mean to let them hold the pass while you tag along for the ride directly on their heels.
#7. Don’t brag. It’s unbecoming and no one will want to be your friend.
#8. Refrain from singing along to your iPod. Save it for the karaoke bars.
#9. People running UP the hill have the right of way over people running DOWN the hill. It just makes good sense, no?
#10. Run happy. Check your bad day/attitude at the door and try to enjoy the run. Don’t be a Debbie Downer at run club.

What else? There are so many runners out there doing intensely annoying/dangerous/rude things–tell me what you’ve seen and give me your list of Rules of the Road!

Now go out and run.