The Sucky Part

Wow. I am in a craptastic mood today. Sorry in advance for the venting.

I am not normally bummed out about running these days. Sure, my organs devoured my muscles to fix themselves. And yeah, I have no discernible muscle definition. So what if I lack strength just about everywhere in my body. Can’t be all bad, right?

Not the face of someone who is pissed off.

These days, I am normally all “Hey, world, I can run! Outside! 7 weeks post-surgery! Boom!”

But sometimes, it sucks. And sometimes, the sucky part hangs around for a while. Like only being able to do 3 miles because it’s so freaking hot outside. And realizing that my idea of speed work is kind of a joke. And being passed in Central Park.

Super annoyed.

I hate being passed by people I KNOW I used to be able to keep up or pass like they were standing still pre-surgery.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of where I am and how far I’ve come. I made a new friend who actually ran with my slow ass a couple of times and reminded me that it’s actually pretty cool that I’m running at all, given what my body has been through. She’s smart. I’m going to start listening to her.

Hooked up to 5 separate lines. Who knew I’d be running in 4 weeks? Not bad.

But I can’t catch my breath. Or find a rhythm. My legs always feel like lead. It seems as though my muscles are on vacation. It sucks. It is NEVER easy. My body just doesn’t feel like it used to.

I guess that’s the point. It never will.

I will get faster and stronger and, one day, be able to lift more than 20 pounds. Until then, I just have to muddle through the sucky part as best I can, I suppose.

Having to study all day every day is definitely not helping my sucky attitude. 7 more weeks!

Sound off! What’s the sucky part of your runs/workouts these days? Hot summer days sucking your will to live? Weight room jammed with summertime meatheads? Vacation/work/people getting in the way of your workout? Let’s all talk about the sucky parts together πŸ™‚

Now go out and run.

(Or, for me, shuffle on down 2nd Ave. Ugh. I will be more cheerful tomorrow. Promise.)

13 thoughts on “The Sucky Part

  1. Be proud of what you have accomplished! Be appreciative that you CAN run. Some people can’t or will never be able to experience what it feels like to run…to be free. Enjoy every part of those 3 miles, even if you used to be able to do so much more. It’s good that you are being honest and real with your followers though…because not every day or run or moment is awesome, and I respect the fact that you are willing to share it all. πŸ™‚

    • Fear not, I am both totally proud & utterly appreciative (especially since I used to be one of those people who couldn’t run b/c of my disease) but, MAN, this comeback is an uphill battle! Thanks for the comment πŸ™‚

  2. You are amazing and I know you’ll overcome the suckiness soon. πŸ™‚ I’ve been really bummed out in this heat and walked for a while in the queens 10k on Sunday, something I never do! And this weeks runs have been really rough. It’s hard not to be a little hard on yourself when you’re training for a marathon and walking in a 10k :-/ That’s what sucks for me lately!

    • Girl, this heat is KILLING me. I know it’s hot in the summer but JEEEEEEEEZ it’s brutal out there! Ugh. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have finished the 10K so cheers to you for starting AND finishing!

  3. Abby, you are one of the most amazing women I know. All of us are entitled to bad days especially given your circumstances. I’m glad that you have found a new friend to assist in supporting you during this transitional time period. Each day you will get faster and stronger. Hang in there, wonder woman xxx

    • Whatever, Wonder Momma! I just keep reminding myself I don’t have two little ones like you & Krissy so I don’t really have much to complain about when you get right down to it. Thanks for the vote of confidence πŸ˜‰

  4. My Sucky is completely different than your sucky. You are so motivating and I truly look forward to your posts every morning. You are amazing and like the others I truly appreciate you sharing it with us.

    The sucky parts of my workouts lately… I went from running 7-8 miles down to starting to train all over again and back down to barely being able to push through 3-4 miles due to a couple weeks of non-consistent running. The problem is now because of the June bugs along with my deathly fear of bugs I have been doing my runs on a treadmill (One June Bug clung itself onto my shirt without me noticing and made its way into my home). Eeew… They are everywhere at night. I HATE THE TREADMILL but I hate bugs more. Most of my runs are at night because I am definitely not a morning person (I will push the snooze until the very last minute). This has been truly sucky lately and has put a damper on my training and I no longer look forward to running. Go away June Bugs! This in no way shape or form compares to what your are going through but this is what has been sucky for me lately.

    • Like my aunt always says, “Your sh!t is your sh!t.” Those June Buggies keeping you from enjoying an outdoors run and being tied to the treadmill SUCKS! Silly bugs.

  5. yes – the HEAT. this last week especially, every run has felt so much harder than it should in the thick soupy heat and hot sun. i’m trying not to let it get to me – i know it won’t be like this forever! and after all, i AM running! so that is something to be grateful for and happy about. but i don’t think that means we don’t have the right to say it is kinda sucky.
    and YOU – well you are simply amazing in my eyes. your new friend is right and you should listen to her! helllooooo … 7 weeks after surgery and you are running again already!? wow. i do not know everything you have gone and are going through, but the only thing i can relate it to is how you describe it makes me think of how i felt every time i went for a run after my third baby was born. i felt like i was running in someone else’s body. this new lumpy soft body that was completely out of whack and wonky and HURT. hurt in places i never knew could hurt! but i just kept going, conservatively and safely and with a lot of heart and determination and now it has left me appreciating things my body can do in a whole new way and honestly accomplishing things i never thought possible.
    hang in there – you are inspiring us all and are truly doing amazing things!!! xoxo

    • Jessica-Sounds like the same thing to me! These aren’t MY legs! My legs are fast & more muscular. *sigh* It’ll come back…eventually πŸ™‚ Oh, but the heat is totally ruining comeback!

  6. Knowing (in your logical brain) and feeling (in your heart) are two different things. Good for you for reminding yourself of all of the positives, but don’t beat yourself up too much for feeling blue. It’s normal/human/rational to have a glum day from time to time.

    The important thing is to keep moving forward – which you are – and to know that you’ll get there! πŸ™‚

  7. I’m sorry but are you in my head?? Comebacks/recovery sucks. It’s hard and frustrating when your body doesn’t do what it once was so capable of doing. But you are doing *so* great. I mean, running 2 months post-surgery? Are you kidding? That’s awesome. I’m 3+ months post-op can still not cleared to run. It’s frustrating to see my knee shake like crazy when I do simple step-ups. But I keep trying to remind myself that it’s a journey and a process and while it may take longer than I would like I will heal and I will get back out there.

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