What It’s Like

Thank you, thank you, thank you all who have sent well-wishes to me as I continue to recover from surgery. I kinda think I’m out of the recovery stage and into the comeback stage at this point. The answer to the “How are you feeling?” question is always the same, “Good!”

Two thumbs up, ya’ll! Totally ready to run.

Really. I’m good. I’m back. I’m just slow.

Yesterday I ran to Central Park with my lululemon Run Club buddies to coach during what was probably the one of the hottest nights in New York City in a long time. Well, since last summer.

It was brutal. Not for me, for them.

I am the CHAMPION!!!! The champion with flabby arms. Ugh.

Running is different for me now. I don’t know, nor do I care, what my pace is. I wear capris even though it’s 90°. I have to focus so much more on what I’m feeling than ever before.

Things move and flex differently. My new gear gets a little funky every now and then and I want to stop and see if I can adjust it. I know full well I cannot, there’s nothing to do, and if it’s really that big of a nuisance I should just stop.

It has not yet come to that.

But everything feels different.

I breathe heavier. I have more physical distractions. One mile seems like forever. My legs can’t push as hard or as fast. My abdominals are trying their best to do what they know they should, despite the new restrictions. My back suddenly has a lot of work to do. My arms are more tired.

But in my head, I am happy as a clam. Because, although everything feels different and is harder and wears me down faster and doesn’t do exactly what it used to, I can still run. And I will get better, faster, stronger. Today’s run is just today. I will go farther tomorrow or next week. I will be faster next month. Those feelings will change and my body will adapt. That’s just what the body does, it adapts. Slowly, painfully adapts.

And slowly, hopefully not too painfully, I will be back into running shape.

Running shape…like Kara Goucher. Ok, maybe not exactly like Kara, but maybe my best version. Who am I kidding? I’m just hoping to get some definition back to my body AT ALL.

That’s what it’s like for me these days. What about you? How does it feel for you to run today? I imagine the general consensus will be “HOT” but what else do you feel? Tell me all about it.

Now go out and run!

3 thoughts on “What It’s Like

  1. Abby,
    I just recently found your blog when I was looking up UC and flares after distance running. I have had ulcerative colitis for about 25 years. I feel the same way about not letting it control my life. I have three children who are now teenagers but there was no way I was going to let this disease keep me from having children. It was definitely challenging at times.

    I am also a runner and have done 2 marathons, 1 full triathlon and over 20 sprint triathlons. Running has definitely helped me deal with this pain in the ass disease (literally). I was in remission for about 5 years and recently had a flare up after the Nashville Rock and Roll Half Marathon. I have only taken Asacol and the dreaded enemas to control mine. I read you recently had surgery, did you have an ileostomy? I hope your recovery goes well.

    Did you find that your flares got worse after longer distance runs? I am doing the R & R Chicago 1/2 marathon in 4 weeks, I’m hoping I can get it under control enough not to have to map out the port a potty’s:)

    I enjoy reading your blog, It’s nice to know your not the only out there dealing with this. Nobody really understands how much it sucks unless they’ve had it.

    Denise Jefferson

    Live Strong

  2. You are amazing. I can’t believe you’re already up and running. Wonder Woman has nothing on you! My run today was 5 mile intervals in 90 degrees + humidity, but I don’t mind. Thankful for legs that run.

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