To all the new runners out there in the world, welcome! Welcome to a unique community where “fartlek” isn’t a dirty word and the sweatier you are, the better.
As much as we buck the norm where bathroom habits are concerned, we do have some manners that most seasoned runners adhere to. They are the following Rules of the Road:
#1. Spit directly downward towards your shoes. Not to the side. Not way out in front. Down beneath your own feet. That way if you have lousy aim, you aren’t punishing your neighbor.
#2. Wear clean clothes. Brush your teeth. Wear deodorant. No one wants to smell you while they’re gasping for air. Showering is optional, good hygiene and clean shorts are not.
#3. Pass on the outside. Cruise on the inside.
#4. Make way for the babies on board. The pregnant mamas and strolling-pushing parents have a lot more to maneuver than you do. Get out of their way.
#5. When you cross the finish line, keep walking. The runner behind you wants to get across it, too.
#6. Don’t pace off of another runner without their permission. It’s rude and mean to let them hold the pass while you tag along for the ride directly on their heels.
#7. Don’t brag. It’s unbecoming and no one will want to be your friend.
#8. Refrain from singing along to your iPod. Save it for the karaoke bars.
#9. People running UP the hill have the right of way over people running DOWN the hill. It just makes good sense, no?
#10. Run happy. Check your bad day/attitude at the door and try to enjoy the run. Don’t be a Debbie Downer at run club.
What else? There are so many runners out there doing intensely annoying/dangerous/rude things–tell me what you’ve seen and give me your list of Rules of the Road!
Now go out and run.